First I’ll explain this story, then move on to the hundred other quotes I’ve collected in the last couple of days but have lacked the initiative to actually post. So Cosimano was telling her IB 5 class about this essay this kid wrote on the death penalty. The death penalty, in Spanish, is “pena de muerte”. This kid did not write that. This kid wrote “pene de muerte”. Which means… you guessed it, Penis of Death. Heck yes.

Margo: “My boyfriend taught me how to wrestle… NOT LIKE THAT.”

BG: On the way to Battle of the Brains, Deeva is working on a rubix cube. Spam is watching her do this, and all of a sudden shouts:
Spam: “HOLD ON, I have to analyze this!”

Deeva: “You have to think of [English] as history’s sister… You have math and science, English and history.”
Spam: “It’s the wicked step-sister!”

BG: We’re discussing Gabby’s b-day party and how she wants to take everyone’s v-card. She’s allowed to do it, and I’m allowed to do it because my birthday is also in December. Then, TO ME, Gabby says:
Gabby: “No one’s allowed to have sex on my birthday except you and me!”

BG: I… really don’t know.
Jess: “You can grope anyone. It don’t matter.”

Okay, this set has a set-up to it. So on Thursday, I went over to KLMS after debate to judge middle school debate. As a judge. As a high school judge. And I’m walking down the hallway to get to the room in which I am going to judge, and this kid comes out into the hallway and asks me, “Are you VB middle?” And I’m like, “…I’m a judge. In high school.” And Alex, from across the room, goes, “She’s a senior.” So yeah. So I look like a middle schooler. Go me. Yeah. There are quotes from the round though, which I will proceed to share with you:

“This could lead to catestrophic… catestrophe.”

“The world could basically… die.”

“You didn’t specifically state all 47 countries…”

“…and try to act like we’re better than them, like a lot of Americans do to people from other countries.”

“Most births are given by teenage mothers. In Africa.” (Me: NO SEX!)

“Can you prove 1.2 million people are dying daily?”

“If you have a lot of gummy bears, that’s better than killing… I don’t know what I’m saying.”

“I believe most people would die for their country.” (Me: Uh…)

“Most people do not want to live in sub-Saharan Africa.”

Yeah… basically the neg argument was that Africa doesn’t need our help because they’re overpopulated and we need death checks. Population control, ftw.

Oh, and one more quote: Yesterday while in the back of my truck, Gabby, Patrick and I were discussing weight. Patrick said how weight doesn’t matter, just figure. And then:
Patrick: “It’s not like someone’s saying ‘You must weigh this much to ride the Bradley.'”