You may need to understand the plot of Samuel Beckett’s “Waiting for Godot”, Edward Albee’s “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?” and that one guy’s The Chosen to understand the following set of quotes. So… IB kids.


Camper: “Why does the boy [in Waiting for Godot] not represent Christ?”

Ashley: “He can’t walk on water.”


Camper, on the reality/fantasy essay: “You guys were saying things like, ‘There’s two guys on the stage, and that’s a fantasy.'”
Chris: “For Xu!”

Question: “What is the significance of Estragon’s boots?”
David: “The most obvious thing is that these boots were made for walking…”

Camper: “Why do you think Godot needs a boy to tend the goats?”
Xu: “He’s a pedophile.”

Camper, imitating an essay from a dumber IB school: “Uh, there’s two guys on stage and they’re like, fact and fantasy, and one of ’em gets hit in the eye with a baseball and… They’re Hasidic Jews?”

Ashley: “Why would each character need a leaf?” [Waiting for Godot]
Xu? Someone: “To cover their loins!”
Camper/class: “…They have clothes.

Camper, on why Estragon and Vladimir separate at night: “Cause they actually have something to do at night.”
Xu: “Each other!”

Non-IB students may resume reading here.

Camper, on a literary theory: “Some people agree with Collin. There are so many signs of the apocalypse now.”

Ashley: “I don’t need the sheet [of questions]. They’re the sheet.”
Jessica: “I’m not the sheet.”
David: “I’m the sheet.”

Xu, on fat people or something: “They’re like, literally slabs of wall.”
Chris: “Literally? I would like to point out they they are literally slabs of wall.”

Walck, on alternation of generation: “If you see [sperm and eggs walking around…]”
Brinn: “You should probably stop dropping acid.”
(By request of Deeva)

Class/Collin: “Do you see our [IB English test] grades?”
Spam: “No, she just sees ‘Collin: one.'”
Camper: “I see ‘Collin: one, one, zero, one.'”
Chris/Collin: “That’s thirteen!”

From Florida, where we get around on bikes:

Me: I don’t like this foolish bike thing. I miss my car.
Mom: Just wait til tomorrow. You’ll feel like you’ve been sexually assaulted.

Others from Fl:

Me, to my grandmother who just almost ran down a small child: “Quit runnin’ into little kids!”
Siarra: “At least she isn’t hitting them with beach balls!”
(I may have accidentally whacked a kid in the face with a beach ball at a Beach Boys concert once…)

My 70-year-old grandmother while in a restaurant for lunch: “When you say ‘condiment bar’ make sure you don’t say ‘condom bar’.”
The rest of the family: “…”

Little (14) Brother: “I’m gonna go with Gram and get some condom… ments.”
Me: “Condom mints?”
Brother: “You don’t know what I’m doing tonight!”
Me: *laugh* *shudder*