Walck: “Where does crossing over occur?”

Neal: “At the border!”

Ashley on Miley Cyrus’s real name, which is Destiny Hope or something: “Her father is Billy Rae Cyrus. You’re lucky he didn’t name her John Deere Tractor Cyrus.”

Kevin to Ms. Camper DURING A QUIZ: “Ms. Camper, how was your three-day weekend? OH WAIT, you didn’t have one!”

Sarah: “I’m the most whitest person on the staff.”
Samantha: “The most whitest, really? Sounds like you’re the most in need of an English lesson.”

Sam, on Marion: “She just acts dumb in chemistry sometimes.”
Brinn: “A lot of girls do that.”
Sarah: “I don’t; I’m just dumb.”

Brinn: “The newsroom equals Vegas. What happens here stays here.”
Chris: “There’s prostitution?”
Brinn: “Yes, but none for you.”

(Mrs. Cox tells Christina that 7.8 teachers are being transferred from PA. Let me repeat that: seven point eight. POINT EIGHT. The staff is confused.)
Christina: “Mrs. Davis is pretty short; maybe she counts as .5 of a teacher.”
(I almost didn’t want to put this on the cabinet because I’m afraid of Mrs. Davis. I was overruled.)

Vaje, writing on her computer: “Don’t nobody betta touch dis computa.”
(Janki, Jazmyne and Taqo managed to argue about this with her for a good five minutes. I sat back and soaked it in. It made my whole day.)