Jaclyn: “I have two new cousins!”
Michelle: “Your aunt had twins?”
Jaclyn: “No… one’s 18 and one’s 25. My uncle found them on Facebook.”

Coop(erman): “I’m sure there are some of you that would rather set yourselves on fire than run for public office.”

Coop: “They might be relevent. They might be giants; they might be relevent; who knows.”

Coop: “You have Lord of the Flies being practiced at the municipal level.”

Richards: “You’re not going to get your girlfriend a basket from Cracker Barrel.”
Guy: “I dunno, I might.”
Richards: “If your girlfriend is white trash.”

Coop: “They knew each other–” (lower voice) “–we might say.”

Sadie: “I’ve only met [my mentee] once, so we’re going to work on that.”
Medley: “Carl’s is calling your name!”
Sadie: “Well… if you want to walk through the hood, that’s cool.”

Richards: “One of the requirements of this class is that I have to expose you, like a flasher, to theory.”

Richards, on a picture of Jim (Huck Finn) holding a bucket: “The previous class got side-tracked by discussing whether the bucket is a vaginal symbol.”
Class: *discusses*
Richards: “It’s VERY vaginal!”

Richards: “If you’ve seen a runway model, what do they look like?”
Girl: “Hungry.”

Watkins, the Journalism teacher: “We don’t care about truth! What do we care about?”
Guy: “Advertising revenue.”

Watkins on Twilight: “Don’t they have vampire sex in the last one? It moves away from Mormonville….”
Watkins on defensive, staunch editorials: “…or cross this line and I kill you. Or turn you into a vampire.”
Guy: “A sex vampire.”

Coop on expectations of (say housing) contracts: “You don’t want to come home and find someone in your bed. That might be a happy surprise for some of you.”

Brinn on separating the headline from the article writer: “You can write ‘Martians Land on the Moon’ if you want.”
Miles: “Which would apply in this case since it’s Palin.”