Coop, on why we can study political culture: “…cause it’s HOT. We have brought, not sexy back, but political culture back.”

Coop: “…whatever fantasies you have about boy scouts and girl scouts… Boy scouts being rough, ready, and able to build you a fire; girl scouts… selling cookies–I know that always sets my heart a-twitter.”

(Coop’s kids pushed buttons on the voting machine, resulting in her placement “on some very interesting mailing lists”.)
Coop: “Strap your kids’ arms to their sides if you take them to vote or get better kids.” *pause* “More obedient kids.”

Laura, after we found her asleep/passed out on the floor. She called her commander. “What did you give me? […] Can I still go to mass casualty training tomorrow?”

Richards on Mary: “What is she known for? ‘My holy vagina’.”

Richards on Eve in Paradise Lost: “She grabs him by the testicles and feeds him the apple and… death and destruction come into the world cause I’m a mean bitch.”

Cosmos asking a girl about Long Island: “Did you grow up there?”
Girl: *shakes her head no*
Cosmos: “How disappointing.”

Richards on Kat and Chris not being in class the day of a presentation: “Heidi Klum would say, ‘Auf Wiendersein!'” *air kisses*

Cosmos on his project system: “This is like Keno! With better odds!”

(on modern, male-centered epics)
Class: “The Illiad. Braveheart. Gladiator.” (etc.)
Richards, with examples: “The 300. Softcore gay porn.”

Cosmos on sound bites: “Every’s running around… VICE PRESIDENT! ILLEGITIMATE CHILD!”

Coop on a moderately politically-engaged citizenry: “[Politics] is on their minds, but it’s not like sex, so they don’t have it on their mind all the time. …You all are obviously past puberty so that joke is no longer applicable.”

Medina on a club: “They’re soliciting me.”
Dan: “They’re soliciting you? Stop soliciting yourself! You can get arrested for that.”

(randomly on the street)
Guy 1: “I still want to fuck you.”
Guy 2: “I want to fuck you too, man.”

Richards: “Just because you’re not having sex right NOW, does that mean you lose your heterosexual identity? I hope not for all of you in dry spells.”

Dean of Academic Services: “[Myth:] Time management takes the fun out of life. […] Like in The Sound of Music.”
Dan: “…It does. Have you seen The Sound of Musics?”