Bethany, about her Twilight tshirt: “I put this baby on, and I was like, ‘I look HOT.’ I would screw myself.”

Michelle, post-Presidential debate: “Anderson Cooper, you’re so cute. And one of these days, we’ll find out what your sexuality is.”

Coop: “They’re more willing to take the view of party, party, party. Not like, whoo! Party, party, party, but political party, party, party.”

Mike: “The Giants are gay as hell!”
Michelle: “They’re not homosexual, Michael.”

Coop: “No cake for you! If you don’t participate.”

Coop on the Sierra Club and China: “…Polar bears … PANDA BEARS! Wrong continent. I need more coffee.”

(Sex is only for reproduction)
Richards: “How was sex in the Victorian era?”
Heather: “Missionary?”
Richards: “You can be procreative in other positions.”

(In Lit class, we discussed Freud’s pleasure principle and watched a clip from ‘Into the Woods’, a broadway show that features a wolf whose costume was… well-endowed.)
Richards, on the wolf’s… junk: “And it too is hairy. No manscaping for wolves.”

(as the class is leaving)
Richards: “Enjoy your pleasure principle! Beware of wolves with junk!”

Michelle, randomly, while leaving Walmart: “This is a beautiful pomegranate. It’s very angular.”

(During an FYE lecture, we’re discussing the haves and the have nots and the middle class)
Parker: “Who else are the haves?”
Someone: “Extortionists.”
Drew, mishearing: “…Abortionists?!”

Parker: “What are other stereotypes about the middle class?”
Someone: “We’re in danger.”
Mike, clearly not serious: “We’re dangerous.”
Parker: (writes) “…dangerous…”

Myth: The middle class is extinct. Like the dodos.
Dalia: “The dodo are in danger.”
WHOLE group: “…They’re extinct.”

Jon, on his lack of perception: “I can’t read women, okay? I can read men.”

(During a conversation about band, Will mentioned he played the sax)
Dylan: “Pshaw. The trumpet is God’s instrument.”

(While waiting for the bus, Will is knitting his scarf, and it’s hanging between his legs, which is just how it happens when you knit a scarf. Dalia reached for the scarf, and Will slapped her hand away)
Dalia: “I wanted to see how long it was!”